Airing our Dirty Laundry
Jeremiah, in cleaner timesAlmost every day lately, Jeremiah comes down the stairs for school wearing the exact same clothes he had on the day before. It might even be everyday, but I’m just too busy to notice.And everyday we have the same conversation.
Buddy, is that the same shirt you wore yesterday?Yes
And he has to know what I’m going to say, right? Because I say it every time.I say,"Okay, well you need to to go back upstairs and change into a new, clean shirt."And he dutifully walks back up and makes the change.This last weekend he went camping with his grandpa, and when he came home, he was wearing the filthiest pair of bright orange cargo pants I had ever seen, and a white shirt with a tiger on it that had a few stains and dirt smudges. So the first thing we told him after “hello” and “I’m glad you made it back alive” was, “Now, head up and take a shower, okay?”He bounded off and we didn’t see him for a while. When he came back down, he sported freshly wet hair, carefully combed back out of his face, and the same fifty orange pants and tiger shirt.
“Jeremiah, are you wearing the same clothes you went camping in?”“Yes""But. You just took a shower."
He just stared, uncomprehending.
“Bud, when you take a shower and clean your body, it’s important to also wear clean clothes afterwards so that you don’t get all dirty again. Head on up and change.”
He looked at us like life was hard, and where do all these “clean clothes” rules come from anyway? And went to change his clothes.The next day was Monday and after breakfast, I took a good long look at Jeremiah.
"Son? Are you wearing your CAMPING CLOTHES AGAIN?"“Yes.""But, they smell like a campfire.""Yeah, but I like the smell of campfire.""No. Just no. You need to change. And Jeremiah STOP WEARING THE SAME CLOTHES OVER AND OVER AGAIN!”
And he did a great job of that on Tuesday. Fresh shirt, clean pants. I was proud.But then Wednesday rolled around, and I spied him in the same t—shirt as Tuesday.
“Jeremiah! Are you wearing the same shirt as yesterday when I have already made it clear that we must wear new clothes every single day?”
Blank stare.
"Buddy, go change, then meet me in the car, and listen, I don’t want to have this same conversation again. It’s not that hard. At night when you change, put your dirty clothes in the hamper. The next morning when you wake up, do not rummage through your dirty clothes, but ONLY select clothes from your clean pile. Do you understand? Do I need to make a chart?”
Jeremiah changed his shirt, got into the car, closed the door and breathed out in a sigh.
“Mom? Just, can you tell me why? WHY do I have to change my clothes every day?”
And I looked at him like, WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY?So I had to explain basic life skills and the importance of showering, wearing clean clothing, and keeping our nails trimmed (another epic battle).I explained that this is just what you do to be a functioning, respected member of society. That being presentable and clean were things we learn, starting now, and you’ll care about it more once you get older. I went on to tell him that I do laundry twice a week to make sure we all have fresh clothing and underwear and socks to pick from. And that sometimes I wear the same jeans twice in a row, but never more than that, and certainly I don’t wear the same shirt two days in a row. I don’t change the shirt because it’s dirty, per se, because sometimes shirts don’t show signs of being worn. Like, maybe you didn’t spill spaghetti sauce on it or sweat in it, so it looks to be in pretty good shape. But son, I still don’t wear it because people have seen me in it and it’s good to not let people see you in the same clothes day after day.And then I stopped because I insinuated that he should keep himself clean FOR OTHER PEOPLE, which was really not the point at all.He thought a minute.Then he said, very slowly,
“So. I can wear the same pants two days in a row though?”
I officially give up.